Food poisoning isn’t a mystery illness whispered about in medical journals. It’s the consequence of skipping basic kitchen hygiene. In other words, if you end up doubled over in the bathroom, you probably earned that “prize.”
Step one: wash your hands. Really wash them. Soap. Warm water. Twenty seconds. That lazy rinse-and-shake move? Useless. Think about it: your hands have touched doorknobs, your phone (basically a germ museum), and who knows what else. Do you want all that seasoning in your sandwich? Didn’t think so.
Step two: stop letting raw food mingle. Chicken doesn’t need to hang out with your spinach, and sushi-grade tuna doesn’t belong on the same board as strawberries. Cross-contamination is not “fusion cuisine”—it’s a bacterial free-for-all.
Step three: cook food like you mean it. Rare poultry is not edgy, it’s reckless. Get a food thermometer. Chicken belongs at 165°F, ground beef at 160°F, and fish at 145°F. Anything less, and congratulations—you’re incubating germs, not dinner.
Step four: respect refrigeration. Bacteria multiply faster at room temperature than rumors at a high school lunch table. Perishables shouldn’t lounge on the counter longer than two hours (one if it’s hot out). That sniff test you swear by? Not science.
Step five: rinse your produce. Grocery store apples aren’t magically clean—they’ve been poked, prodded, and pawed by half the town. A quick wash can save you a world of regret.
Bottom line: food poisoning is not inevitable. It’s preventable, laughably so. Clean, separate, cook, chill. If you skip the basics, don’t act surprised when your stomach stages a full-blown protest.
